Memoir

A Lost Voice Due to Trauma

Talking for us today is a basic means of communication with others and it is also a key factor which keeps us connected with the world around us. Humans are social beings, they have a need to feel connected with others in order to feel the need of belonging.

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Trauma can lead the feeling of loneliness even if you are surrounded by many people

Now imagine.. one day you saw something so horrifying that it gets stuck in your brain. And it makes you loose your voice?

Here is why I believe it!!

Crazy… isn’t it?

It is the TRUTH!!

When I was training to be a hospice visiting volunteer, I saw a girl. She was around 6-7 years old. I just got a glimpse of her as she was standing all by herself in the hall when I came out to talk to my mother on the phone to inform her when will I reach home.

When I looked at her, I smiled and tried to have a conversation and I said, “Hey, how are you doing?” She got scared, and took a few steps away from me. At that time, I wasn’t aware that she could not speak. This made me curious, as I know that I am not that scary. Usually, children are not scared from me. Jokes, apart, let’s continue the story..

I felt that she needed to be alone as she was scared. But all of a sudden, she started breathing heavily and was sweating.. I got concerned and hoped she was alright. Immediately, I asked for help.

I got to know that the little girl came with our guest speaker of the day, she came with a psychologist, the social work department handed her the responsibility of the little girl. I began to wonder what just happened? Where is her family? The psychologist came running out and told me to calm down. She told me what had happened to her..

STORY OF A LITTLE ANGEL!!

Little Nora lived with her grandparents when her parents decided to go to Canada. She had no idea what was coming her way. When she was trying to sleep, she heard loud noises coming from the other room. When Nora gathered enough courage to come out of her room and find out what was going on, she was a very terrifying sight!!

She saw her mother getting raped by her father. Her father was violent and abusive. He was hitting her mother with a stick! Moreover, he was abusing Nora’s mother in their mother tongue.

Nora was so scared.. she tried to hide and go back to her room as she could not see that horrifying sight. It was very scary!! But at the same time, she wanted to help her mother. She understood that this was the reason why her mother did not let her live with them back home in Saudi Arabia.

Next morning, her father did get an idea that she might have seen something last night as she acted scared. Nora quickly ran outside her house and went to her friend’s place. Her friend’s mother suspected something was going on, she then decided to report it to the Social Work Services. When they investigated, they found out that Nora’s mother was seriously injured and was in no condition to look after her. Nora’s father on the other hand was arrested for being abusive and violent.

BACK TO WHERE WE WERE!!

After hearing Nora’s story and seeing how anxious she was, it made me realize one thing, trauma can come in any form in our lives, it depends on how we take it!

No one could have ever imagined what happened with her, because she seemed to be ‘normal’ when we looked at her, it was when someone tried to talk to her could notice the sudden changes in her behaviour. She was so scared to talk to people around her. As the days passed, she used to come by at our training centre. We all noticed something..

She was slowly getting comfortable being around different people, but when it came to talking to others, even if she tried talking, she wasn’t able to. I wondered why, she wasn’t scared of anyone, then what was really going on? Why was she not able to talk? This made me very curious, I started talking to one of my instructors who was a psychotherapist.

Got Some Answers!!

By knowing more about Nora and her fears, I got to know that she was suffering from a traumatic experience. She saw her mother getting raped, that sight is stuck in her unconscious mind. Even if she is not scared to be around and talk to people, she will still not able to to function like she used to because her ‘unconscious’ state of mind is not ready to move on from this trauma.

Nora has now lost her voice. Even if she knew how to talk before, she is not able to hear her voice!! She is able to move her lips because she knows how to frame words and phrases, but her voice is not present anymore.

Now, she has to go through numerous speech therapy sessions and numerous therapeutic techniques in hopes that she will get her voice back. She definitely has a long and a difficult journey ahead. The most I could do for her is, hope for the best.

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Talking to someone about your feelings helps but not everyone is in a condition to talk after a huge traumatic event, just like Nora

What I Feel About Nora?

Nora is just one of many people out there who has experienced what trauma really is. She has experienced life in a way that no one can. What I learn from Nora is that I should not be upset about my problems, because there are more serious problems that people experience that may change their lives forever. Compared to them, my problems are NOTHING!!

What do you all think? What do you learn after knowing Nora’s story? Please do let me know!!

Individuality, Memoir

A Death Wish!!

We all are humans, if we are born in this world, then someday we will also die. This is the life cycle that everyone has to follow. The hard fact is, no one knows when or how you will die. Death also means that we might loose someone dear to us which makes it obvious that why we tend to ignore this topic. I am not intending to talk about death in a negative manner, but I would just like to share a story of a women who knew she’s about to die and what she wished for. Her wish was a little unusual, something that was unexpected!!

Disclaimer: This story is about a brave individual who is not among us anymore. I saw her struggle and she told me her story as a friend. I asked for her permission before she passed away, if I could tell her story out loud to others, she agreed. The most I coud do to honour her is respect her privacy, I would like to tell you that I have changed her name. But what happened with her, really did happen!!

Let’s call her Jacky!!

As I have told you before, I am a visiting hospice volunteer and I assist patients with their end-of life journey. Therefore, whenever I see my patient for the first time, I need to mentally prepare myself that they may not be around for a long time.

STORY TIME!!

When I got Jacky and her husband’s information, I got to know that she is diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband has prostate cancer.

Jacky was my first patient and thinking about her made me feel helpless. The doctors said that her prognosis is one year.

When I first met her, to my surprise, there was a certain warmth in her smile she was positive towards life. Whereas, I thought, she would be upset at her life as she knows she won’t be able to fight breast cancer. When I got to know Jacky, I understood the reason why, she had to be, she had no choice!!

As I came to see her, she got attached to me and saw me as a person that she could talk to and depend on whenever she felt low. That’s because she did not want that her children should be bothered by her troubles. I once asked her, “When did you come to Canada?”, just as a topic to start a conversation as I saw her a little upset. She gave me a slight smile and she blankly said, “It’s a story that I would rather not say out loud to myself, how can I tell you Gayatri?” I felt that she is uncomfortable, that’s why I decided to change the topic. To my surprise, she asked me again, “Gayatri, would you really like to hear? You sure you’re strong enough for this one? I would really like to get it out of my chest. No one has cared about me enough to ask me this question. I ant that someone should hear me but was anxious to share before.”

It made me feel that people have several layers, we can’t be sure that we really know someone. Really knowing someone means being aware of every single layer of an individual. That was something Jacky was about to share with me. I had to be mentally prepare for what was about to come!!

Jacky started off by telling me that she as married when she was 17 years, as her family and cultural values emphasized that girls should be married early. She lived in a small village in Ukraine. She wanted to study, but could not as her in-laws did not want her daughter in-law to go out and work but should rather stay home and cook. Then, she became a mother at the age of 20. Unfortunately, when she was sitting with her husband and her son while an artist was painting their portrait, her son ran to the street and a car hit him. Her son died right in front of her eyes, therefore, as a result she was diagnosed with depression. When she turned 22, she lost her brother as he served the Ukrainian army. Moreover, she even lost her younger sister when she was giving birth. She has been loosing a lot of people in her life.

Jacky’s husband could not see her suffering, he decided that it was time for a change. Her husband talked to an immigration agent, which led them to apply for immigration to Canada in the hopes that Jacky would feel better. But destiny had something else in store for them, the agent they contacted, told them that they have to apply for immigration after they land in Canada, nothing needs to be done before. At that time, no one was aware about the laws. Therefore, they believed the agent and came to Canada on a ship. The couple came with their two daughters, their third child was born in Canada.

Since the day they have landed in this country, they have been fighting to get equal rights as a citizen. Her husband has been working tirelessly to gather enough money to apply for citizenship. You won’t believe, they have applied for citizenship five times, and their application has been rejected. Even after having a child who is a Canadian citizen and contributing to the Canadian economy. Moreover, their daughter’s left their post-secondary education as both had to earn money for their parent’s medications.

It’s been 3 years Jacky has been diagnosed with breast cancer and she has to pay for each an every treatment, medication and checkup herself as she is not considered a legal immigrant in Canada. This is because, free health care privilege is only given to PR residents and Canadian citizens only. Her parents wanted her to be a legal citizen as she has been living in Canada and working so hard since 30 years. Her father could not take it anymore, before I got to see Jacky for the first time, her father just passed away a week ago. He passed away due to a sudden heart attack.

Hearing her losses, struggles and her feelings about them made me feel, my problems are not even actual issues in front of her. She has seen death from very close. Between this, how could I tell her when she asked me about my citizenship? How could I tell her that I just got my Canadian citizenship a month ago? It was a very guilty feeling, to protect her, I lied, I told her I am stil in the process of applying for citizenship.

When she was telling me this, she shared every single detail.. from the day she saw her son’s death to her father. EVERYTHING!! Everything as drastic, I could feel her pain. I could now understand, no matter what I do or say, it will not make her happy. I could see that she is smiling but she isn’t completely there. I could not take it.. as soon as I went home, I cried my room. When my parents came home from work, I told her what Jacky went through. I also told them one last thing that Jacky told me before I left her place…

HER DEATH WISH: I WANT TO BECOME A CANADIAN CITIZEN BEFORE I DIE!! I KNOW I DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME AS I AM IN CONSTANT PAIN!!!

Would you believe me if I tell you what happened after that???!!!!

I wish Jacky did not tell me her death wish. After she shared her wish, a week after when I called her to confirm my visit, a social worker picked up the phone and informed me that Jacky is no more!!!

I could not believe what I heard!! I confirmed again.. it seemed like nothing makes sense anymore. It was a horrible feeling. I have lived a perfectly protected life and have never felt how it feels like to loose a loved one. Even though Jacky was a total stranger, but I did form a bond with her. She taught me a lot of things!!!

In the loving memory of Jacky!!!

I love you Jacky!! I know you are watching me from up there. I miss you, even though you were way older than me, you always considered me as a friend and shared everything with me. Thank you for trusting me with your story, I hope wherever you are, the world gets to admire your strong will of never giving up!! I will always remember you!! I will always be your ‘brown girl’!!

Awards and Recognitions

Sunshine Blogger Award

Hey Everyone,

I recently was awarded the “Sunshine Blogger Award” and I would love to share my joy with you all. As you might be wondering, what it is? What does it mean to have one? Who awarded me this honour? Let me tell you to hold on, you’ll get your answers as soon as possible. Let’s fasten your seatbelt and let’s get started.

What is ‘The Sunshine Blogger Award”?

It is an honour that is extended from one blogger to another. There is not an exact judgement panel, it is just given from a blogger’s peers. It is a token of appreciation to those bloggers who are “creative, positive and inspiring while spreading sunshine to the blogging community”. There is no physical award, this is a praise from other bloggers that I as an individual blogger, is doing a great job and trying to create awareness about the topic of their blogs.

Who nominated me?

My nomination came from Lori of circlesquareoval. Lori is an amazing individual who wants to share her knowledge about finding solutions to simple day to day tasks. She is a lifestyle blogger and has a vision to find creative ideas that end your daily hassles. Her simple solutions will leave you with an “Aha, it can be done like this? I never knew” moments. Lori, thank you so much for this nomination. It means a lot.

How does it work?

There are a few rules that come along with this nomination to continue spreading these lovely rays. They are as follows:

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their website
  • List the Sunshine Blogger Award rules and display the logo (there are many versions!) available
  • Answer 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you for the award
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 new questions
  • Notify the nominees of their nomination

QUESTIONS FROM MY NOMINATOR

  • How did you decide on your blogging name? It’s a funny story, my nick name is “Gauri”. And my last name starts with the letter “S”. One day my brother was just teasing me and called me “Gorgeous Gauri” several times. Afterwards when I calmed myself down and thought about it, it clicked!!! My name is Gauri, mental health can be gorgeous in its own way and the letters ‘GS’ is actually my initials. Therefore, I called it “Gorgeousgaurigs”.
  • What was the topic of your very first blog post? I don’t know if you have read it or not, I just made my website but I was posting blogs on medium before. The first topic of my blog post was, dementia. It is an actual incident of a lady with dementia and how my experiences were with her.
  • What countries have you traveled to and which was your favourite? Honestly, I haven’t travelled much but I can say, my favourite country is the place I first came from is India. I have only travelled to Canada, India and USA.
  • If a movie were made on your life, who would be your dream actor to play you? My life is not that eventful, but if I really think about it, I’d want Priyanka Chopra to act as me if this would happen. She’d make an excellent Indian girl in a foreign land trying to find her roots.
  • Do you prefer dogs or cats? I love animals but honestly, I would not prefer to have a pet as they are a big responsibility. But if you ask about preference, it’ll be cats for sure!
  • Are you a morning person or a night owl? For sure a night owl, I can never get up in the morning. Moreover, I get most of my things done at night as well!
  • Do you do any writing other than your blog? I do write for myself sometimes, but it’s very personal. It’s more like a therapy for me when I’m feeling lost or confused. It helps me calm down.
  • Are you involved in any volunteering activities? Yes, I am a trained hospice visiting volunteer. I go see different patients who are terminally ill to assist with their end-of-life journey.
  • What do you enjoy doing in your free time? I like to watch dance videos, get caught up with some Indian soapy dramas and sometimes, Netflix!! (Haha, that would be obvious!!)
  • Who inspires you to be a better person? That would be my aunt. My mother’s younger sister. It’s not like I don’t relate to my mother, I do. But I find myself connected with my aunt more even though she lives in India. She has a positive vibe which motivates me to be a better version of myself.
  • If you could choose anyone, dead, alive or fictitious, who would you like to have dinner with? That’s a difficult question, that would be my great-grand mother from my mother’s side. I would like to know more about her lifestyle back then. That’s because recently my grandmother talked a lot about her. I would really want to know her and over the dinner as we chat.

MY NOMINEES FOR THE SUNSHINE BLOGGER AWARD

At Home of Understanding, Nadine has created a place where every voice can be heard. A place where mental health is not seen as sickness, but as a place where everyone can heal and get the right information on how it can be done.

Nichola, from NickDeDevolve, has a special space where he provides you with strong motivation to keep going. You can think about his lifestyle when you come to know that he is a medical student and still has a strong will to help people with being productive and also keeping up with new technology.

Jie, is an amazing blogger who aims to keep us all updated with new technology. At audiovisualAOCE, he is dedicated to provide us with as much tech information as he can. He is passionate about how technology affects us on a daily basis and is dedicated towards enlightening us so that we are also aware how to solve our daily tech issues. There is a lot of info that he’d love to share with you all.

Supriya, is an amazing mother who is excited to share her knowledge about being a parent. Moreover, she herself is a foodie and loves to share her secret recipe’s to make a boring food more interesting!! She believes in learning by doing, she has a little daughter, but believes that every child is different. She has little hacks that might help you out!! Do check her out at littleduniya!

At yoursturlyesha, Esha has a lot to share about beauty and travel. She can provide you with all the hacks to get a perfect look for different occasions. She is a a creative individual who believes in enhancing your beauty.

11 QUESTIONS FOR MY NOMINEES

  1. How did you decide to blog?
  2. How did you decide your blog name?
  3. Who is your inspiration? It can be anyone, living or dead.
  4. What are your hobbies?
  5. What do you do when you have a ‘writers block’ and nothing is coming to you?
  6. Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?
  7. What is your dream place to go on a vacation?
  8. Who is your favourite person in your life and why?
  9. Apart from writing a blog, do you write for yourself? If so, what do you write about?
  10. Do you prefer hot coffee or cold coffee?
  11. Who inspires you to be a better person?

I’d like to thank Lori one more time for the nomination. Thank you for inspiring and supporting me and in helping in contributing so much to this blogging community.

Thanks,

Gayatri

Individuality

A Sense of Who We Are

Everyone has an idol that they look up to. A person that they consider to be their idol and have a strong belief, that someday, they will become like them and will have all the success just like their idol. All of this thinking is correct, all of the ideas are right but there is a certain limit to it.

You maybe thinking, what is the problem with that? Following someone you like is not a big deal. I agree that it is not, but there is a say ‘excess of anything can be harmful’. Let’s take an example, I idolize Priyanka Chopra. She I an Indian actress who is known globally as she has acted in several Bollywood films, acted in the famous show ‘Quantico’ and has also done two Hollywood films. I strongly stand by what she believes in about feminism and how our society should change. All of this is very inspirational, but following someone for their beliefs is different than thinking that I will become like Priyanka Chopra one day. You need to be realistic, back up and think, does the world need another Priyanka Chopra? Why would the world accept another version of the same thing? This is where the problem starts. Let’s get into the roots of the problem, hang in there, you will get your answers.

It’s good to stand out of the crowd, it shows who you are as a person!!

Being a part of the BIG COMMUNITY!!

We live in a society that is very diverse and each individual has a different set of values. This also means that each individual we meet in our daily lives has a different story and a different background. You may or may not believe in the things that your friend friend believes in. This is totally fine! Being on the opposite side of a topic is how we interact, the things that we never thought about are the things to consider while making a decision.

As humans, we are ‘social beings’, we have a very STRONG need to BELONG!!

We will do whatever it takes to be accepted as our biggest fear is to be ‘alone’ or to be considered ‘outcasts’ in our own society. This is the reason why we change ourselves and follow the societal norms. Following the norms is a great thing as it keeps the society in order. But not, when it comes to changing your own identity.

Who Are YOU?

Having a clear idea about who you are and what you stand for is the ‘key’ to your individuality. I understand that humans do not openly accept who they are because they are scared that they will not be accepted. But remember one thing, people who love and adore you, will stand by you no matter what. These people will be your well-wishers. These issues are huge and obvious when you live in a multicultural community, specially when you have multicultural friends.

With the issues being raised, there will be some norms or beliefs that you will be expected to believe in. Believing in the norms is alright, but if you notice that YOU are not being yourself, and you are acting like your friends or someone who is socially acceptable, be aware, there is a problem!!

Remember, people will like you for who you are, not what you follow, or behave like someone else. If you are being confused, back up and think…

Why do you follow a famous personality?

  1. They stand out of the crowd, their beliefs make you look up to them
  2. They are bold and confident enough to make their choices which are not socially acceptable. They own their decisions.

3. You like their work. They inspire you to work harder towards your goal.

What should you get out of this?

Let me be VERY clear. In order to survive in this society, I agree you need to follow the norms and respect the other person’s boundaries. But sometimes, if something does not make sense to you, ASK away!! After all, everyone has the equal right to ask questions.

You need to have a sense of individuality. You need to know yourself really well so that you don’t end up loosing yourself. Stay true to your thoughts and belief. Even if your friends do not agree with you. It can be for a number of reasons. All you need to think about is FORGET WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK!!

Remember, the person who loves you, will understand you and will stand by you. I agree, the society out there is not entirely fair. In this situation, instead of panicking all the negativity and letting it pile on your brain, you can LET IT GO!!

Another thing is, self-love. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? Therefore, you also need to be FEARLESS and CONFIDENT!! Who knows, the people looking at you might think, this is a quality that makes you stand out, why not make an effort to get to know him/her?

Don’t you agree?!

Please do let me know what you feel. All thoughts are welcome!!

Guest Posts, Uncategorized

Effects of Stress and Possible Relaxation Strategies

Hey Everyone,

Today’s post is written by an amazing mental health advocate, Nadine. She strives to educate and and share her knowledge about mental health. She is also a mental health blogger, just like me and has been writing about the same since a long time. You won’t believe it, she is just 18 years old and is an economics student, still she recognizes and appreciates the importance of mental health. She believes in “Finding company and acceptance” where no one is alone.

Today mental health has for sure gained a lot of light in our society and people recognize that this issue does need continuous support, still some people refuse to agree that they might be suffering from the same. Nadine, strives to break this stigma.

She has an amazing website where she shares her knowledge and would love if you can have a look at the amazing work she does, here. You can also connect with her on Twitter and Instagram.

So, without any further ado, let’s see what she has to say about stress and how it affects us in our daily lives.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Today’s post will be about something I have written about several times before and most of us have to deal with everyday. STRESS, Not only has a huge effect on our mental health, it can also worsen our physical wellbeing to a great extent. Growing up in a world where nobody seems to take the time to enjoy the small and calm moments that offer themselves, it is of often even bigger relevance. In this post, I will first list a few effects that stress can have, before presenting a few possible solutions.

Effects on your MIND

When unchecked and ignored, stress takes the first hold of our mind. There, it can cause restlessness and a lack of motivation and focus. Do you know the feeling that raises shortly before a deadline when you still haven’t finished whatever you were supposed to do? The panic that slowly spreads through your mind until the point where you are unable to do anything? Yup, that is caused by the stress. Having an increased and ongoing amount of stress can also lead to feelings of anger and irritability or sadness. I am sure that you have heard of the term, burnout. This just means, a person has had so much stress that they end up in depression and lose every will to keep going.

Effects of your BODY

A lot of physical pain that is treated nowadays is caused by psychological problems. It is very similar with stress, as it can cause headaches and fatigue. We then tend to treat these symptoms instead of underlying the cause. Sometimes, we do this unknowingly, at other times, we just want to “push through” and get to the next holiday, so we don’t take the time to actually think about the problem or try to solve it in the long run. Apart from headaches, stress can often also lead to problems with sleeping/insomnia, muscle tension (especially in the neck) and it weakens our immune system, meaning that we will get ill more often and will be more severe. I think we can all agree that these are issues we should take seriously, So, here are a few considerations you could engage in to feel better in times of stress.

Reducing the Stress

Who has not thought at least once in a while: How great would it be, if I could just take a break? What if I just stopped working right here, right now? These thoughts indicate that you haven’t had enough breaks during the week and only think of the bigger holidays are important, they are often the only time where you can get out of your job and travel, but the small breaks you take everyday or week are much more important when it comes to longer periods of stress. Small breaks everyday where you can just do what you enjoy can help taking away the tension.

Another idea would be taking a hot bath or a shower. This is something you could do during your small breaks. It gives you the possibility to enjoy the moment and forget about the stress for a moment. It will also get you in touch with your body again, so you will realize whether your neck is tensed up or whether you have a headache you should take care of.

Engaging in hobbies such as sports can also be very helpful in order to get away from your job and create some distance. Physical activity is one of the best things you can do for your body in general, so why not use it to help with the stress as well? Especially when you are doing it outside, it can have a great effect on your mental and physical wellbeing.

Furthermore, I can recommend a method that maybe not everyone has heard of yet. It is called, progressive muscle relaxation. It works like the following:

  • You tense the different muscle groups in your body as strongly as you can and then relax them again. For example, you could start with your neck or face. You tense up every muscle you have in this area and after a few seconds, you let go. If you do that with every muscle in the body, you will feel a lot more relaxed afterwards.

Something very similar to the progressive muscle relaxation would be yoga. When doing yoga, you also use your body to regain focus. It can also help you let go of the stress and you even get some kind of exercise.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is actually a relaxation method to reduce stress, it works wonders!

You might have realized that all these methods take up a little bit of time, but I think everyone can take an hour a day to take care of themselves and their own well-being. And for those who say they could get work done in this hour: If you have a lot of stress, it is very likely that you would not be able to focus properly anyways, so it would be better to do something relaxing for a short while and then pick up the work again, because then you will actually be more efficient in getting your things done.

These are only a few ways of reducing stress and not all of them will work the same for everyone, so in case these do not work for you, you can always find a lot more on the internet. As I am not a medical professional, you should not rely on this when you suffer from severe stress. It would be best to talk to an expert then and listen to what they recommend to you.

However, I hope this was of any help for you. Gayatri and I would be happy about feedback of what works for you and which other methods have helped you cope with stress in the past.

Take care of yourself and goodbye,

Nadine

Uncategorized

How Does it feel to be “Alone”?

In today’s world, everyone is busy rushing and earning the bread and butter for themselves and their loved ones that they forget there are somethings that money can’t buy. Which is, the love, support, care and the sense of belongingness which comes from people who assure you, that “No matter what happens in your life, you can fall on them. You can always depend on them”

I agree that showing love does not mean displaying it everyday or proving it to the loved one with big gestures that you love them. In this busy life, all you need is to take out sometime for that special person. That’s because if they know you, they understand your workload and your lifestyle, but even if you just take out a little time out for them, it’ll mean the world to them. This is not just for them, but it is also for you, it also affects your mental being as well. You must be wondering, how? Let’s get you the answers..

How does any of this affect “ME”?

You’re busy working every single day, you have tons of work to do, from waking up in the morning, doing household chores, helping your parents, getting to work on time, listening to your boss’s demands, getting gifts for your sister and the list goes on..

You may feel worked up, and there will be a point where you will feel mentally exhausted. Let’s be real, “You can’t keep going on and on right?” And after all that, we tell ourselves, “I’m so done with life! I can’t handle it!” You’re right, you can’t, that’s where self-care comes in handy, you need to take a break, because then when you feel refreshed, you get working feeling more refreshed and you can work more efficiently.

That’s about how you feel, and what about the person you love, you just left behind? No one thought about that, right?

Someone will always hear you out, just make an effort to let them know that they mean a lot to you!!

How does it feel to be, LONELY?

After working so hard all day every day, don’t you feel at times there is no one to hear you out? Or no one around you for helping you solve your problems? Don’t you wish, that someone could just be with you, the physical presence of someone just matters so much that even if they don’t do anything, it still does the job.

That’s because you don’t feel neglected, ignored or isolated. This is because we are human’s we need social interactions in our lives. We NEED to be around people who understand us, or just feel our pain, be it mental or physical. Everyone need’s ‘their person’. If we don’t get these things, we may feel neglected, ignored or isolated.

You might have noticed that I referred to Grey’s Anatomy where Christina and Meredith consider each other as ‘their person’, the analogy is correct, this ‘person’ can be anyone, doesn’t have to be a family member, it can be your friend or your partner, whoever it is, you want this person to be at your side whenever you need them.

I can keep going on about how does it actually feel to be lonely, but I may not be able to describe the feeling, if you really want to understand, please go and ask an older person in your family, for instance your grandparents. They are usually the ones who really know what it REALLY feels like, they will be able to tell you accurately.

Okay.. So What Should I Do?

Now that we have finally realized our mistakes and want to improve ourselves, here are some steps that you can take that can improve your mental health being and also the people around you, now you won’t have any guilt and can also focus on your work:

  • Organize your time on a weekly basis, get some time off work so that you also take the rest you need
  • If you can’t meet your loved ones, at least give them a call, so you both know you have each other. I am sure they’ll understand
  • Prioritize spending time with others on special occassions, remember work keeps going on, but family and loved ones should deserve some attention on some days at least!!
  • Its good to reciprocate your love sometimes, being expressive about your emotions won’t make you weak, it’ll let them know that they are important you and even if you are not able to spend that much time with them.

Always remember, feeling the need of having someone in your life is not a sign of weekness. That’s because if you don’t require anyone for sometime, you will be fine, but slowly, all the negativity and the feeling of being neglected will make you feel isolated and will affect your mental and physical health in the long run. So, if you want to stay happy and maintain a good relationship with others around you, a little effort from your side won’t hurt right?